Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
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It's amazing how the organic, wild, untouched natural beauty soothes my soul. Being here in Australia has reminded me of that truth all over again. As I look out on the crashing waves of sea blues and greens; as my eyes catch a glimpse of huge humpbacked whales; as the soft clean sand sticks to my feet; as the huge white clouds offset the blue sky and water; my heart is refreshed. It's like God comes down and whispers in my soul that He is big. He is in control. He is not confused. He is watching me, loving me, holding me.
One would think that being in such an amazing place as Australia would make you forget all your worries and troubles. Funny thing is, that although I am experiencing things that people spend their lives dreaming about, God continues to allow brokenness to be a real part of my life. I suppose those who read this blog are getting tired of hearing me talk about it. But since that is where God has me now, I cannot ignore it.
Sometimes the brokenness hurts so bad, I huddle in a corner and sob my heart out. Sometimes the brokenness makes my heart angry. Sometimes the brokenness makes me cringe and wonder if it will ever be over. But most times the brokenness makes me turn my face to Jesus and cling to Him in utter desperation. Brokenness causes me to see my daily need of His grace, love and forgiveness. Brokenness makes the Word come alive in ways it can't when everything is right in the world. Brokenness reminds me daily of my utter depravity without God. Brokenness shows me I am nothing without Him. Brokenness makes me love Him more.
Although I hate this feeling of brokenness, I love the feeling of knowing God is right there. I have had so many moments of knowing if God is not there to hold me, I will surely go insane. It's also amazing because I can feel the prayers of the people God has put in my life. That is a humbling, yet incredible feeling. To know without a shadow of a doubt that at this moment, someone is interceding for me. Thank you Jesus.
Why do I share all of this?? Like any of you really care anyway, right?! ;) I just want my blog to be a place where I can know God and make Him known. I want Him to be lifted up and exalted. I would not be here without Him. I also hope that somehow my journey can be a blessing to someone. Some of the best advice I have received from my friends, is this. Read the Word. Press into God through prayer. Don't stop. Keep reading and seeking. {I love you girls... you know who you are!!} Many times I am afraid to encourage people who are going through suffering with 'all the right answers'. But I have been so encouraged by the girls who constantly remind me of this. And deep down inside, we all know it's true. Jesus is just waiting for us to run to Him. To declare our need of desperate dependence on Him. That is when He will answer. When He will come through for us. He is waiting...
We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in an ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop. - Mother Teresa
There's a wideness in God's mercy like the wideness of the sea. - Frederick William Faber
If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me. - Psalm 139: 9-10
There's always a hole in my heart and the empty place by my side in all my travels... I miss my Captain Awesome!!
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