Wednesday, June 18, 2008

It's Creeping Up.

"Thy God commanded thy strength: strengthen, O God, that which thou hast wrought for us."  Psalms 38:28
I can't believe that it's almost time for me to leave for China... two weeks from tomorrow.  I have to pinch myself to believe that after eleven months, I will be walking once again on Chinese soil.  It's been so surreal up to this point, that I've not even started packing or mentally preparing myself for leaving my family.  

It's starting to become more real with each passing day that brings me closer to boarding that plane, that it's almost time to leave.  I'm reminded how soon it is when I get a call from a friend saying they want to have a send off party for me next week.  I'm reminded how long seven weeks is when I hug little Sophie and realize that she'll be all grown up when I get home and probably won't remember me.  I'm reminded how much can happen when I think of everything my family will do without me.  And I'm reminded how much my own siblings will change and grow while I'm gone.  I joke with Tiff that when I went to China last year, she got her first job... and this year, I'll come home and she'll have a boyfriend! *smile*  (She does her monumental things while I'm out of the country.)

Though it is sad to think of breaking my ten day record of being away from home with a seven week stay in China, I am very excited.  I will never forget when I left Beijing that overcast July day... as we taxied down the runway, I could stop the tears from falling.  I just remember knowing that I had to come back.  There are kids waiting to be played with, friends to bond with, translators who need to hear of and see Jesus in action, and new memories to make.  And then I realize how much I need God's strength.  I can't make an impact this summer on my own.  My greatest fear of all in going to China to spend seven weeks, is going without the power and strength of God.  If I do that, I've done nothing more than hang out for the summer having a good time.  And while I realize that it will be a blast, I desire so much more.  Something deeper. 

I was praying this morning as I drove to work that God will use me as a servant.  I have a thing for liking to be recognized and appreciated for what I do... I know, it's a pride problem.  But I was asking God that I could be a servant and that people would not see me working with orphans, but that they could see Jesus Christ oozing out of my very being.  That HE alone would get all the glory and honor.  Anything good or worthwhile that I can do is only because of HIM!

Will you please pray with me along these lines.  Pray that God will break up the fallow ground in my heart and that I can come home a different person who can serve Him even more.


goofy girl said...

Stop, you are makig me get teary eyed...with exitement and sadness. Exitement because you are going to be be a wonderful influence and cause I just know God is going to shine thru you! you are going to put smiles on their faces. Sadness because it will be so diffrent when I am with your family you wont be there. But will remember that God has sent you to make a diffrence in the orphans and the translators in China!!! I would absolutely LOVE to pray for you. I love you, have a wonderful time!

Anonymous said...

ahhh! i'm so excited to see you in the center of God's will. but i still cried while i read this post. i'm ging to miss being able to call and text you whenever i want during the day, getting excited that it's almost 5:30 pm, late night talks and reading together, your wisdom, ;) and you know, everything else. i'll try not to be engaged before you get back! JK! i don't know why your so worried about me? i'm the one that should be worried!
love you to the moon and back! ~your best friend and mirror image~ :)